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What is bird nesting parenting?
‘Bird nesting parenting’ (or simply ‘nesting’) on divorce or separation is an arrangement where the children remain in the family home, with each parent living there during their agreed time with the children and elsewhere when ‘off duty’. It takes its name from birds keeping their chicks safe in the nest, with the parents alternately flying in and out to care for them.
These days, it’s a concept I’m encountering more often in divorce. And there’s evidence that Gwyneth Paltow’s well-publicised ‘conscious uncoupling’ ten years ago significantly affected the popularity of this type of arrangement. Indeed, in 2016, a study suggested that 11% of separating parents in the UK had tried this or something similar.
Bird nesting parenting: the benefits
Nesting provides a degree of consistency and continuity for children. It’s also less disruptive during the initial period of their parent’s separation. Indeed, some argue it’s key to helping children come to terms with their parent’s separation steadily and gradually.
From a parental perspective, it allows both parents to spend time with the children in familiar surroundings. It may also provide a springboard for parents to develop a co-parenting arrangement moving forward.
Bird nesting parenting: disadvantages
Despite its many benefits, bird nesting parenting is not right for everyone or every separation scenario. To work well, open lines of communication are required. That is not always easy, particularly if the separation is sudden or unexpected. It would also not be appropriate where domestic abuse is a factor.
A nesting arrangement is unlikely to be a long-term solution. However, it may be suitable as a short to medium-term arrangement until parents sort out their finances.
Things to consider
Parents must agree on the terms of the nesting arrangement from the outset, and in particular, minimising disruption for the children is crucial. Indeed, it may be appropriate to consider recording the arrangements in a child arrangements order to be approved by the court.
However, it’s essential to take legal advice before entering into a bird nesting parenting arrangement to ensure that it’s appropriate for your circumstances and aligns with your long-term goals.
For advice on nesting arrangements, contact Holly Skelton on 01793 615011 or submit the Contact Form below.